I have three year old son.
He is extremely affectionate.
He also uses his need/desire for physical contact as a manipulation tool,
when he wants to distract me from the matter at hand.
It’s very clever.
How can a Mother deny her Childs request for hugs and kisses?
It’s hard, but it must be done.
He also doesn’t fully understand personal space.
He expresses his boundaries, but has yet to understand that I have them too.
We came up with a term in our house called “bubble boundary”.
The more I think about relationships and how offended we can get by the other,
but how little we look at our own actions, I realized, it’s not just three year olds,
I don’t need to explain, hopefully, what bubble boundary means.
But what I would like to express is that it’s good to define what your bubble boundaries are.
And, to have a way you can clearly and easily express them to people that pop yours.
People who we think don’t respect our boundaries,
might not actually know what they are.
We spend a lot of time assuming false realities based on our own perceptions of the world,
and not the reality of the others actual thoughts and intentions.
Virtual communication is particularly good for creating these assumptions.
Confrontation is hard.
If you can get very clear to yourself about what your boundries are,
you can express them without worry of too much drama.
Boundaries are necessary in maintaining healthy relationships.
They are personal space limitations we all have and need.
I think if we establish boundaries more in our relationships,
a deeper level of understanding can exist without anger or feelings getting hurt.
Once you have made things clear before an incident occurs,
all you need to do is throw your hands in the air and say,
“Bubble Boundary”, and it’s an automatic non—negotiable pause.
We can not blame others for making us feel bad
when they don’t know what our limits, needs and boundaries are.
It is every individuals personal responsibility to ask for what they need.
If those needs are not met, then it is your choice to direct your energy elsewhere.
If you're feeling the victim by other peoples actions,
try expressing your bubble boundaries, it might do the trick.