I was a tidy child.
I’ve gotten better, in my older age.
There are much more interesting things to do than clean.
I grew up with a single Mother and 2 younger sisters.
She worked full time and also went to school.
We didn't have a dishwasher.
My sisters were too little for cleaning.
It would drive me nuts to see the dishes pile up.
Of course, my Mother, got to everything when she could.
I would take it upon myself to clean, do dishes and laundry.
Not so much to be a big helper,
but because of my neurosis.
After completing such tasks,
I remember not looking for praise,
but having the desier to complain about something I had done
by my own free will.
It served a purpose for me and no one else.
When I would start this up with Mom,
she would say, if you’re going to do something without being asked,
Don’t bitch about it.
Wow, game changer.
I have remembered that teaching for 25 years.
It stuck with me as some of the best advice my Mother gave me.
Think about how many things we do, with unspoken agreements from other people.
Your children didn’t ask you to make them lunch.
You don’t need to vacuum to survive.
No one said you have to walk the dog.
Just because I think this “has to get done”,
doesn’t make it law.
Think about the manuals you have for other people in your life,
that they have no clue about.
Do what you do for you.
If you want help or agreements about systems,
make sure everyone involved is in agreement and on the same page.
It’s the same for how you choose to raise your children,
spend your free time,
and live your life in general.
When we project on to others what’s right and wrong for them,
it can drive us nuts and strain relationships.
As long as no one is being hurt,
let people live their lives how they choose.
It may not make sense to you, but if it doesn’t affect you,
“You oughta spend a little more time dealing with yourself, and a little less time worrying about what your brother does.” (Ferris Buellers Day Off)
Mom also told me, kill with kindness.