“...if the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear as it is, infinite.”
-William Blake

Today I celebrate my 40th birthday.
I had a couple of birthdays before I stopped drinking, where I intentionally chose not to drink.
Even then, I had the questions, but didn't seek the answers...
Why would I celebrate my life by poisoning myself? By being LESS of ME? By not being fully present and remembering every detail?

The one thing that changed everything about my life that I celebrate today,
wasn't simply the absence of alcohol, unlearning the habit and eliminating it's undesired effects, it was theomission ofillusion.
It was further investigation to answer those questions.

I checked in to a hotel this week with my sweetie to have an early celebration, my room auspiciously named:Amazing Grace.
Every room in this hotel has a name and original art work.
The famous quote painted on the interior room walls:
"I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind but now I see."

All of my life's work, summed up into one beautiful hymn to remind me,don't stop.

Don't stop following the part of me that isETERNAL and INFINITE.

This is the one thing that changed alcohol for me, forever.
Let the ETERNAL take the lead, not the EGO.

This is theTHREADI follow as much as possible.
I have lived every dream I have had to this point.
With no expectations of the future, everything becomes a bonus
and a moment to grow from.

Alcohol was theBIGGESTcatalyst to see the stark dichotomy between the limited stories of the EGO
and the part of me that isTIMELESS.

There is no more blame.
There is ALWAYS a different perspective that creates MORE love.

This process isn't always butterflies,
It was (and still is) a deep dive into the shadow & light of my soul.
And of the vulnerability of unconditional love, probably the hardest part.

The deeper you are willing to go into YOU,
the higher you rise to meet love for everything that is has been trying to offer you.

There is no one right way to journey beyond.
I do know, it's not OUT THERE, it's IN HERE.
The calling of your higher self that says alcohol has to go,
is simply the starting point for all of the other ways you are giving your power away to that which in the end, doesn't matter.

Today I am so proud of seeing the Woman who I sought to be, I already was.
She was just hiding behind a story of fear and illusion.
I know I am on the right path when I couldn't be more excited to spend my birthday working with my amazing clients.

This is human liberation.
This is the red thread of consciousness.
The way of human evolution through the divine feminine, through love, through not apologizing for being human.

In reverence,
Mary

PS: The end of my surprise birthday tea party with my son Emmet, and Bonus Son, Oz.
Karaoke and Pictionary on the projector to-boot!
My song...Telephone by Lady Gaga
Who said you need alcohol to have fun?