Why are we often our own worst critics? It’s an old survival mechanism—telling us that staying the same is safer. But here’s the thing: judgment and criticism don’t lead to lasting change. They only build walls around your authentic self, reinforcing the belief that “you can’t handle it,” which is why you might turn to alcohol again.

Why are we often our own worst critics? It’s an old survival mechanism—telling us that staying the same is safer. But here’s the thing: judgment and criticism don’t lead to lasting change. They only build walls around your authentic self, reinforcing the belief that “you can’t handle it,” which is why you might turn to alcohol again.

I remember when I first began exploring my relationship with alcohol. It felt like I was avoiding a big, scary truth I wasn’t ready to face. I’d tell myself, “It’s fine, I’m okay,” while sweeping those uneasy feelings under the rug.

I would search for any evidence that would validate my drinking, even though deep down, it wasn’t what I wanted. If you’re looking to defend alcohol, you’ll always find a way.

You’re not drinking all the time, but it’s all you can think about. It’s not just cravings. It’s the planning, the scheming, the regret, and the constant decision-making. It’s enough to drive anyone to drink.

There was a time when alcohol didn’t occupy this much space in your mind. Why?

Because it wasn’t as conflicting with your values and the life you want for yourself in the future.

But now, alcohol is stopping you from growing—from seeing who you could be on the other side of this little liquid that’s taking up an outsized proportion of your life.

I remember when I would drink just to get my mind to shut up, even when I didn’t really want to.

So my question to you is: Who are you having this conversation with?

It’s just you in there. But you need to create some space between you and your thoughts.

Here are 3 simple steps to shift the conversation and end the alcohol obsession:

Does the idea of going sober feel like a lonely path? You’re not alone, and this journey doesn’t have to be solitary. So many women feel isolated in their struggles with alcohol, but I want to offer a different perspective—what if you could feel celebrated instead of isolated?

The first step is creating a new relationship with yourself. It’s about learning to have your own back.

There’s nothing more upsetting than waking up the next morning not knowing how you got to bed—or realizing you don’t even remember putting your kids to bed.

The shame and guilt alone can lead you to drink again the next day. And the frustrating part? It doesn’t even feel like you’re drinking that much.

You try to drink less, but you still end up with the entire bottle of wine gone. It seems like the more you think about drinking less, the more you end up drinking.

My client Cindy used to tuck herself in most nights before her kids even went to bed.

Exhausted from the day, alcohol pushed her over the edge. There were just those couple of hours in the evening when she felt like she “needed a drink,” even though she spent all day either anticipating it or telling herself, “Not tonight.”

It’s easy to feel like you’ve tried everything to make life better, but what if there’s one thing holding you back from your “happily ever after”? For many of us, alcohol is that thing—keeping us stuck, tired, and out of sync with the life we truly desire.

Here’s the plot twist: that happily ever after, the life you really want, is already happening.

Why Sobriety Isn’t Just About Quitting Drinking

Oct 14

When we talk about sobriety, the first thing that probably comes to mind is stopping drinking. But here’s a little secret: sobriety is about so much more than just putting down the wine glass. It's about rediscovering yourself, reconnecting with your body, and living with intention.

"In a world where death is the hunter, my friend, there is no time for regrets or doubts. There is only time for decisions."
-Carlo Castaneda

In these "times of uncertainty"...
What does that even mean?
What is certainty?
Is it an illusion?
Life?
Your job?
Family?
What creates a feeling of certainty in your life today?

I was having a conversation with my Beloved the weekend.
One I have initiated many times.
The same story, the same words, the same energy
NO NEW RESULTS.

Alcohol is the solution to the problem of drinking.

Say what?!?

When you get to this place, your dopamine reserves are always dipping below your baseline, creating a deficit.
This robs you from the pleasures of natural dopamine rewards from things like hugs, food, cooking, dancing, playing, community and exercise.
Places where you once found meaning.

"Once the discomfort of staying the same, surpasses the discomfort of change, they take the leap."
-Alex Hormozi

We find refuge in meaning.
Words are spells.
They create a very SPECIFIC vibration in the body called an emotion.
This dictates much of the time why and when you drink.

Finding a friendliness towards life, first requires one towards yourself.
Seeing life with less judgement.
You can never fully awaken from the distortion of alcohol without self reflection.
What does belonging really mean to me?
Why does this moment feel unsatisfying?
What is my heart felt intention for doing this?
What is true freedom and peace?

What does intuitive eating and women's empowerment have to do with alcohol?
That everything is interrelated.

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
― Richard Buckminster Fuller
In my words, You Throw A Better Party!

Mr. Fuller also goes on to say, if the solution to a problem isn't beautiful, I know something is wrong.

You've been waiting to change your relationship with alcohol,
but the habit of drinking has it's own belief system full of reasons why it won't work.
This habit is limited and has tunnel vision.
You can't change something that is buried.
You can't open new doors stumbling around in the dark.