Sobriety Coaching for High-Achieving Women
Here’s the truth: it’s not about rules, labels, or counting days.
coaching is simply support that helps you get what you think alcohol is giving you — calm, clarity, confidence — but without the cost.
Nothing about you is broken.
You just haven’t learned the tools that make It
simple sustainable & irrelevant
.
“Alcohol was something I really wanted to get out of my life. I knew I needed to work with her (Mary) to achieve what I wanted to…Mary’s coaching has improved every aspect of my life and I am so grateful for working with her.” - Amanda
Why Alcohol Feels Like the One Thing You Can’t Figure Out
You’re a woman who gets things done.
You know how to find success — that part has always come naturally to you.
You manage people, schedules, kids, homes, businesses.
You show up, you lead, you follow through.
You’ve built a beautiful life because you know how to be consistent.
But alcohol?
It’s the one thing you can’t seem to figure out.
And that feels confusing for a high-achieving woman who’s capable of so much.
Not because you’re weak.
Not because you lack discipline.
Not because you “have a problem.”
It’s because your mind and nervous system learned a pattern —
a pattern that makes alcohol feel like the fastest way to get relief, calm, or confidence.
That’s it.
A pattern.
And patterns can be rewired.
Until now, your options have felt limited:
drink and deal with the fallout
quit and feel deprived
or stay stuck in a cycle that no longer fits the woman you’ve become
You’re not the problem — your brain’s pattern is.
And no one has ever taught you a simple, sustainable way to change it.
That’s where feminine, strength-based sobriety coaching comes in.
It’s a holistic, sustainable approach that helps you shift the pattern — without rules, labels, or counting days.
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“When this mindset shift happened, I knew it would be easy to release alcohol completely from my life”
“I knew changing my relationship to alcohol was on the horizon when I heard Mary talk about how alcohol became irrelevant to her, like it was possible for alcohol to be something neutral that was easy to say no to.
Among the many tools that Mary offered in my time with her, I received the most support from the continual reminder that I am not a victim to my thoughts, and that most often the worst thing that can happen is a painful emotion or a negative thought.
When this mindset shift happened, I knew it would be easy to release alcohol completely from my life, because I am fully willing to feel my feelings, and not let my thoughts and subconscious patterns get the best of me.”
-Nura Rachelle Astrologer, mother, Teacher
The Real Problem Isn’t Quitting — It’s What You’ve Been Taught to Believe
The biggest roadblock isn’t quitting.
It’s believing you have to stop drinking before you can begin.
You’ve been taught that “drinking is normal,” and that moderation is the gold standard.
So you’ve spent years trying to make alcohol “fit,” so you can be a “normal” person.
But “drinking is normal” is NOT a fact.
It’s a belief a profit-driven culture sold to you — especially as a woman — as empowerment, freedom, connection, confidence, identity.
When in reality?
It represses your innate wisdom, intuition, and brilliance.
And moderation doesn’t reduce desire — it keeps desire alive.
What you really want isn’t to “drink less.”
What you really want is:
To not want it anymore.
To make alcohol unimportant.
To be free.
That’s not a willpower issue.
That’s a pattern issue — and patterns can be rewired.
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“If anyone had told me 6 months ago that I would be alcohol free I would have laughed.”
"Liquor became my source of confidence, pleasure, reward and solace, and everything I did had to include alcohol in order to be fun or even tolerable. The pattern continued for the next 44 years.
Mary’s commentary resonated deeply with my own alcohol experiences and I decided to explore her 5 shifts. I tapped into “the witness” and was surprised how affective a tool it was.
Once I stopped judging myself I was able to more clearly understand the reasons I drank and that the reasons were exacerbated by the very act of drinking. A vicious cycle! My energy and enthusiasm grows daily and I have no feelings of deprivation or loss. I’ve started to exercise, meditate and make plans for an awesome future.
I owe my success to Mary Wagstaff and would recommend her program to women of any age or circumstance.”
- Laura Neal, Property Manager, Mother, Adventurer
Laura is going on 3 years of loving her naturally sober life! Getting ready to hit the road in her retirement adventure.
The Process That Actually Works
(The One You Were Never Taught)
This is the exact process I’ve used after 20 years of daily drinking and to help hundreds of women find sustainable freedom from alcohol — without rules, deprivation, or white-knuckling.
It’s not traditional sobriety.
Traditional approaches rely on:
avoiding alcohol
strict rules
counting days
substitutions
discipline
pressure
willpower
Feminine Sobriety is different.
It’s not about restriction — it’s about reclamation.
Instead of trying to avoid cravings, you learn how to:
Feel your emotions fully
Regulate your nervous system
Honor your desires without numbing them
Shift your internal state without alcohol
Build emotional safety inside your body
Rewire your brain’s attachment to alcohol
Create calm, clarity, and confidence from within
This is a holistic, compassionate method that makes alcohol…
irrelevant.
When you create peace inside your nervous system, alcohol loses its pull — naturally.
No rules.
No labels.
No counting days.
No deprivation.
Just a simple, sustainable way of living that fits who you are.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I feel an inner soundness and feeling of being solid in my responses that wasn’t there prior to working with you. True healing”
And I am so grateful to you and the program and the opportunities and shifts of perspective that have opened up for me. I appreciate knowing you are still here for me…
I feel I have solid internal footing, which is an absolute testament to the work I’ve done these last few months with you and the program. True healing. "
-Bonnie Zadeyan, Mother of Four, Entrepreneur, Yoga practitioner
Your Private Coaching Experience
Private coaching with me is not behavior management.
It’s a transformational, feminine, strength-based journey back to yourself.
It celebrates your life, your story, your wisdom, and your evolution.
Together, we unlock the woman you’ve always known yourself to be — awake, powerful, connected, intuitive, free.
This is for the woman who is over it:
over the mental load
over the guilt
over feeling numb
over bursts of creativity that never fully land
over performing
over drinking not matching the woman she is becoming
She’s ready for her next chapter.
She’s ready to make an impact in her home, career, and community.
She’s ready for a deeper relationship with herself and with the Divine.
After coaching hundreds of women — and walking this path myself — I know what actually creates long-term change:
A regulated nervous system.
A clear, simple method.
A supportive relationship.
And a woman who is ready.
How Feminine Sobriety Coaching Guarantees Results
Most approaches fail because they expect you to change your drinking without changing the part of you that’s reaching for it.
That’s why white-knuckling, “being good,” or doing another reset never sticks. You’re trying to force new actions on top of an overwhelmed nervous system and an unhealed pattern.
Feminine Sobriety Coaching works because it does the opposite.
We stop trying to control alcohol… and start changing the part of your brain that wants it.
When your desire shifts, everything else becomes simple and sustainable.
Here’s why my process guarantees results when you show up for it:
1. You Learn the Skills That Make Sobriety Simple + Sustainable
You’ve never been taught how to feel your feelings, regulate your nervous system, or shift your inner state without alcohol.
Once you learn these skills, you’re no longer trying to “be good” — you’re simply responding to life differently.
That’s why your results become inevitable.
2. We Rewire the Pattern, Not Just the Behavior
Most programs focus on stopping drinking.
I focus on eliminating the desire for alcohol altogether.
When the urge dissolves, you stop needing willpower — and the change becomes permanent.
3. You Build Emotional Safety Inside Your Body
Women don’t drink because we’re weak — we drink because our nervous systems are overloaded.
When we create calm from the inside out, urges lose their power and alcohol becomes irrelevant.
This is what feminine, strength-based sobriety does differently.
4. You Get Support That Keeps You Consistent
You’re already a woman who knows how to show up.
But with alcohol, your brain has been running the same pattern for years.
Having a coach who reflects your blindspots, your brilliance, and your commitment back to you is the difference between “trying again” and actually changing.
5. The Process Meets You Where You Are
You don’t need to quit drinking first.
You don’t need rules or labels.
You don’t need to be perfect.
You simply need to be ready for a new approach.
When you combine your readiness with a method that matches how women actually learn, live, and change — results are guaranteed.
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“Mary helped me look at alcohol deeper than just the facts of am I drinking or not drinking, but how do I feel and what are my goals.”
“It's really about being curious with no judgement. I'm having a drink, so I'm going to have a drink, it's not good or bad, and If I wake up tomorrow with a hang over, I'm not going to feel guilty about it, I'm just going to experience it.
It's about thinking things through and not just having feelings. You gave me the opportunity to think deeper outside of surfaced emotions and feelings.
What I really want is to make big moves, and you can't make big moves when you're swimming under a cloud of alcohol.”
- Kaylyn Dawley, Business Strategist, Entrepreneur
What You Get Inside Private Coaching
Private coaching with me is intimate, intentional, and life-changing.
This isn’t about micromanaging your drinking — this is about supporting you as you become the calm, clear, confident woman you already know you’re meant to be.
Here’s what you’ll get inside your coaching experience:
1. A Personalized, Feminine Sobriety Framework
You’ll learn the exact, simple, sustainable tools that help you shift your desire for alcohol — not just resist it.This is tailored to your nervous system, your lifestyle, and the woman you’re becoming.No rules. No labels. No deprivation.
2. Weekly 1:1 Sessions That Create Breakthroughs
This is where everything comes together.
Each session helps you clear overwhelm, understand your patterns, and create clarity around the next right step.
You’ll feel grounded, supported, and more like yourself every single week.
3. High-Touch, Wrap-Around Support Between Sessions
You don’t change your relationship with alcohol in one weekly appointment.
You change it with support that wraps around your real life, especially in the moments your brain wants to fall back into old patterns.
You’re not left alone.
You have a steady bridge of support — “in-the-moment” guidance that helps you:
regulate quickly
interrupt emotional spirals
calm your nervous system
navigate tough moments
stay consistent
build confidence with every step
This is the level of support that keeps your momentum alive and your progress sustainable.
4. Tools to Navigate All Areas of Your Life
Alcohol is just one spoke on the wheel of your life.
When the other spokes — your emotional world, nervous system, boundaries, routines, identity, relationships, and self-trust — get stronger…
you stop needing alcohol for support.
You’ll learn tools that help you:
process emotions instead of avoiding them
reduce overwhelm
create structure that feels nourishing
strengthen boundaries
improve your relationships
regulate your nervous system
navigate stress without spiraling
When the rest of your life rises, alcohol naturally becomes less relevant, less needed, and eventually… not wanted.
⭐ 5. And Most Importantly: You Learn the Skill of Consistency
(the part most programs never teach you — and the part that guarantees your results)
Most women don’t struggle because they lack discipline.
They struggle because no one taught them how to consistently show up for themselves.
Inside this coaching, you’ll learn:
accountability without shame
emotional responsibility instead of avoidance
how to keep your word to yourself
how to show up even on messy days
how to build trust with your future self
how to get what you came for
how to make every investment a win
Mindset isn’t innate.
Consistency wasn’t modeled.
But when you learn this skill — your transformation becomes inevitable.
This is the part of sobriety coaching no one talks about —
and the exact reason my clients succeed when nothing else has worked.
“My journey to change my relationship with alcohol has restyled my entire life.”
I began the journey only knowing how to be a daily drinker. I felt that at best, I could maybe moderate.
Mary provided me with the fundamental realization that I did not have to settle. That I no longer needed to wander, but could build a more direct purposeful path to follow.
From that moment on, Mary guided me in rethinking what I naively believed was unimaginable for so many years. A life independent of alcohol is not only viable, it is a choice I now have the confidence to make every day.
To have the awareness that the social pull of a worldwide drinking culture is not welcome in my life. And, knowing that Mary is always here for me is priceless. -Paula, Program Client
“Mary's work is life-changing. Before working with Mary, I was tired, depressed and uninspired in life. After Mary, my beliefs have changed.”
I enjoy life and am excited for each day. I truly NEVER thought I would be writing this and not having a drink. Somehow, Mary creates a path for you without "clawing" your way through each day without a drink. This has been the best gift to me and my family.
My Beliefs before Mary:
I can't NOT drink.
I love drinking while making dinner.
I won't have fun at parties without drinking.
I want to drink after work.
“Mary not only helped me wrap my head around thinking differently about alcohol, which I thought was impossible but also life in general.”
Mary stuck by me when I doubted myself, when I stumbled, and all the way through to now where I can honestly say I feel the BEST I have felt in years. Mary not only helped me wrap my head around thinking differently about alcohol, which I thought was impossible but also life in general. The pandemic escalated my workload, my stress, and my drinking. Mary helped me begin to unpack all three, and I will be forever grateful. XO - Nicole, Program Client
My Beliefs After working with Mary:
I have so much energy.
I am so calm.
I love myself and my life.
I can handle anything.
I laugh more without alcohol.
-Ami, Program Client
Working with Mary has been a transformative experience—a true game and life changer.
In every conversation with her, I feel completely safe to express myself without shame. Her insightful words not only help me see my challenges from a new perspective, but they also empower me to grow and overcome negative self-talk. The trust and authenticity in our exchanges have made every interaction deeply impactful, showing me the power of honest connection and self-discovery.
- Marianne, Private Coaching Client
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to stop drinking before I start coaching?
No. You don’t need to “be good,” take a break, or white-knuckle anything before we begin. My method is designed to help you shift your desire while you’re learning the tools — not before. You start exactly where you are.
Is this like therapy?
No — it’s different. Therapy helps you understand your past. Coaching helps you change your patterns. We work with your thoughts, emotions, nervous system, and habits in real time so you can create sustainable change going forward.
What if I’m not consistent? I always fall off.
That’s the whole point of this program. Most women were never taught how to stay consistent for themselves — only for everyone else. Inside coaching, you’ll learn the skill of consistency: how to show up, how to follow through, and how to become the woman who does what she says she’s going to do.
What if I don’t want to be completely alcohol-free?
You don’t have to be. This is not a rule-based sobriety model. The goal is to make alcohol irrelevant — not forbidden. When you no longer need it for comfort, relief, or escape, your relationship with it becomes effortless and self-led.
How is this different from AA or “quit drinking” programs?
AA focuses on abstinence, labels, and avoiding alcohol. Most mainstream programs rely on willpower or substitution. Feminine Sobriety Coaching does the opposite: no labels, no counting days, no white-knuckling. We rewire the pattern that creates the desire for alcohol so drinking becomes a non-issue.
What if I’ve tried everything and nothing worked?
Perfect — you’re in the right place. Those things didn’t work because they only addressed your behavior, not the root pattern inside your mind and nervous system. My process is holistic, feminine, and sustainable — and it changes the part of you that wants alcohol, not just the part that drinks it.
How long will it take to see results?
Most women feel relief, clarity, and emotional shifts in the first 1–2 weeks. Desire reduction happens steadily as we work with your nervous system and emotional patterns. You’ll notice yourself thinking about alcohol less, needing it less, and feeling more confident.
What if my partner still drinks?
You can be successful even if everyone around you still drinks. In this program, you learn how to manage your emotions, reduce cravings, and stay grounded regardless of what others are doing.
What if I’m in perimenopause or struggling with anxiety?
This coaching is perfect for that. Hormonal shifts, stress, anxiety, and overwhelm are major reasons women get stuck in drinking patterns. You’ll learn tools that support your nervous system, emotional world, and energy — so you can find relief without alcohol.
What if I’m scared to fail… again?
Every woman who works with me has felt this. The difference is: you’re not doing this alone anymore. You’ll have tools, structure, support, and accountability — and you’ll learn consistency in a way you’ve never experienced before.
Do you offer support between sessions?
Yes — and this is one of the biggest reasons this method works. You get high-touch, wrap-around support so you’re never left alone to spiral. You get guidance in the moments you need it, not a week later.
What’s the first step?
Book your 30-Minute Sobriety Clarity Call It’s short, powerful, and designed to help you get clear on what you want
and whether this is the right next step for you.