The call is clear, you are ready to get off the merry go ‘round of alcohol
and live a vibrant life of more meaning, joy, and connection.
Natural Sobriety is a journey of self-reclamation, not a declaration that something has gone wrong.
Alcohol wasn’t always a problem…
But for a while now, it’s become your main source of confidence, pleasure, reward and solace… Everything you do feels like it has to include alcohol in order to be fun or even tolerable. And if it doesn’t it’s on your mind, waiting and planning, taking away from the moment in front of you, it’s exhausting.
Happy hours, vacations, dinners out, relaxing at home… the most exciting part of all these things Had become the anticipation that you’ll be drinking.
Until the panic of the next day sets in and the flood of everything you put off again for an evening that was another wash rushes in. Your heart broken, again. This isn’t who you are or what you came here for. That’s when you tell yourself (most Monday mornings) it’s time for a change.
But when you go to cut down your consumption, it never seems to work out…
You attempt dry January or Sober October… only to fall straight back into how things were the month after…
You tell yourself ‘I’m starting over’...but the moment something stressful happens in your life, it ruins even your best attempts.
You’ve attempted to plan your drinking, you’ve done the cleanses, you’ve practiced the morning routines…but that only overwhelms you, giving you another new habit to learn, add to your schedule, to use your will power for.. until eventually you quit that too… feeling even more defeated and stuck then when you started.
Yo’ve read quit lit, even gone to meetings, joined sober groups, you may have even hired a coach and NOTHING STICKS!
All of it leaves you disappointed and confused with more obsessive thinking, rules, shame, and consequences that come with alcohol, that only want to make you drink in the end.
Here is the real problem
keeping the focus on trying to “figure out” how to make alcohol work or trying to avoid it keeps alcohol in the headlines of your mind and will forever.
It’s normal to stuggel with alcohol when moderation is the goal because it doesn’t actually reduce your desire and attachment to alcohol. What you really want is to make alcohol unimportant in your life and eliminate your desire for it all together. You want to NOT want it.
That desire and attachment?…
It’s not your fault. You’ve grown up in a society that treats ONE particular thought like an INDISPUTABLE FACT: “Drinking is normal”
That ONE idea has been fed to you from the world around you your entire life. This belief is what’s driving the basis of SO much of your struggle with alcohol right now. It’s why part of you believes you have to find a way to drink it in moderation…so you can be a ‘normal’ person.
But it ISN’T a fact.
It’s been sold to you, especially as a woman, as a tool of empowerment and freedom.
When in reality it represses your innate wisdom, intuition and brilliance.
The "Dream Of Moderation" is not the best that life has to offer. You deserve better.
Drinking is not the path to access your brilliant, intuitive, funny, lovable, powerful self. Replacing it and distracting yourself from it are not winning strategies. Because avoiding alcohol isn’t what makes the desire go away. Tapping into your OWN desires is what takes alcohol from being that ONE thing you can’t figure out on your own, to finally being free of the constant battle in your mind.
“Alcohol was something I really wanted to get out of my life. I knew I needed to work with her (Mary) to achieve what I wanted to…Mary’s coaching has improved every aspect of my life and I am so grateful for working with her.” - Amanda
There is an alternative to the constant cycle of moderation and deprivation…
It’s called liberation
and it’s your birthright
The reason why your relationship with alcohol has felt so difficult up until now isn’t because there’s anything wrong with you. It’s because you’ve been focused on the wrong perspective.
You've been trying to figure out how to make alcohol work, rather than deciding what you need to believe so that alcohol no longer matters.
And the way you get there is by diving deep into the feminine mysteries that have been buried by alcohol to reclaim your wholeness rather than seeking to fill a hole.
And I’m here to show you how.
Introducing
1:1 Holistic Alcohol Coaching & Mentoring
Enjoy the alcohol freedom you have always wanted…And find the spark of adventure again.
This coaching program is where you’ll say hello to putting yourself and your REAL desires first, and watch alcohol fade into the background. Having a companion on this journey who knows the way at every turn is how to guarantee you will arrive safely at your destination (have a lot of fun along the way and learn to use the compass on your own).
During our time together you’ll learn the permanent, lifelong skills to:
Stop judging yourself so you can more clearly understand the reasons you drink
Unlock a whole new level of energy and enthusiasm WITHOUT the feeling of deprivation or loss
Relax and relieve stress on your own
Honor your natural cycles and rhythms of change
Make plans for an awesome future
Create the kind of relationship with drinking where you feel solid in your responses to alcohol
Know how to handle triggering social situations because you’ll know how to manage your thoughts and make powerful decisions
Build a relationship with yourself where you can walk into any situation with confidence and commitment
Discover your hidden wild woman and embody who you WANT to be on the other side of alcohol.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“When this mindset shift happened, I knew it would be easy to release alcohol completely from my life”
“I knew changing my relationship to alcohol was on the horizon when I heard Mary talk about how alcohol became irrelevant to her, like it was possible for alcohol to be something neutral that was easy to say no to.
Among the many tools that Mary offered in my time with her, I received the most support from the continual reminder that I am not a victim to my thoughts, and that most often the worst thing that can happen is a painful emotion or a negative thought.
When this mindset shift happened, I knew it would be easy to release alcohol completely from my life, because I am fully willing to feel my feelings, and not let my thoughts and subconscious patterns get the best of me.”
-Nura Rachelle Astrologer, mother, Teacher
I’ll be your private coach and mentor throughout your journey.
Hi I’m Mary Wagstaff,
I’m a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship with alcohol WITHOUT labels, counting days, or avoiding alcohol out of fear. I've found a better way, and I've lived it.
After decades of dealing with alcohol, I was able to break free and awaken to my own inner strength, wisdom, and truth. I haven't looked back since.
I'll show you how to remove alcohol and your desire for it, permanently, in a way that aligns with your values, awakens your authentic pleasure, and taps into the intuitive parts of you that’s been kept at bay for too long.
You don't ever have to look back again - it's time to move forward.
And you don’t have to do it alone. Together we create a safe and sacred container for life-long transformation.
My intention in our 1:1 time is to offer you a grounding point to see new perspectives of what’s possible for you.
We work together to bring balance back to your nervous system, refine your intuition and turn the volume up on your deep wisdom.
The 5 shift-process is the basis of all our work together
FROM AVOIDANCE TO AWARENESS
FROM CONFUSION TO CURIOSITY
FROM JUDGEMENT TO COMPASSION
FROM QUITTING TO COMMITTING
FROM ISOLATION TO CELEBRATION
reignite your wisdom and YOur intuition
No more trying to moderate your alcohol intake or relying on cleanses and morning routines that don't work.
No more feeling anxious about happy hour or vacations, or letting stress ruin your best attempts.
This is process that will finally help you break free from alcohol exhaustion without relying on labels, counting days, or making excuses.
Feel proud of the life you are living when you go to sleep at night.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“If anyone had told me 6 months ago that I would be alcohol free I would have laughed.”
"Liquor became my source of confidence, pleasure, reward and solace, and everything I did had to include alcohol in order to be fun or even tolerable. The pattern continued for the next 44 years.
Mary’s commentary resonated deeply with my own alcohol experiences and I decided to explore her 5 shifts. I tapped into “the witness” and was surprised how affective a tool it was.
Once I stopped judging myself I was able to more clearly understand the reasons I drank and that the reasons were exacerbated by the very act of drinking. A vicious cycle! My energy and enthusiasm grows daily and I have no feelings of deprivation or loss. I’ve started to exercise, meditate and make plans for an awesome future.
I owe my success to Mary Wagstaff and would recommend her program to women of any age or circumstance.”
- Laura Neal, Property Manager, Mother, Adventurer
Laura is no going on 3 years of loving her naturally sober life!
Let Go Of The Rules
Learn to live life without feeling like you need to be "good" all week to reward yourself with something that undermines your achievements.
Eliminate your desire to drink based on circumstances, not days, so you never have to "start over" again.
Learn from your drinking experiences rather than pretending they didn't happen.
Evaluate what worked and what you will do different next time
Feel confident going out to eat, attending parties, or taking vacations without compromising your commitment.
How To Say No
Alcohol exhaustion is from one thing, over thinking about alcohol. Stay confident even when...
Someone offers you a drink.
You are planning a gathering
It's a special occasion.
Everybody else is drinking.
It's a habit
You can't handle life.
Deserve it.
Best part, I'll teach you how to say no without FOMO and saying "screw-it" on Friday.
Never Look Back
Even if you have tried other programs...
Break through walls of resistance that have you giving up.
Trust yourself to keep focused on what's working vs. worrying that your going to fail again.
Avoid self sabotage.
Create a life so good without alcohol, that you have no reason or desire to live any other way.
Because women are eliminating their desire to drink here, it is one of the only programs that supports you before, during and after, helping you build your amazing future.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Mary helped me look at alcohol deeper than just the facts of am I drinking or not drinking, but how do I feel and what are my goals.”
“It's really about being curious with no judgement. I'm having a drink, so I'm going to have a drink, it's not good or bad, and If I wake up tomorrow with a hang over, I'm not going to feel guilty about it, I'm just going to experience it.
It's about thinking things through and not just having feelings. You gave me the opportunity to think deeper outside of surfaced emotions and feelings.
What I really want is to make big moves, and you can't make big moves when you're swimming under a cloud of alcohol.”
- Kaylyn Dawley, Business Strategist, Entrepreneur
work with mary PRIVATELY
It’s Not Just About Quitting Drinking, It’s About Who You Become In The Process.
When you get clear on your values you can shift your focus to what matters most and where you want to go. That’s when you unlock your wild woman potential — the you that is in alignment with the natural cycles and rhythms of life and your intuition. DISCOVER YOUR WHOLENESS VS. SEEKING TO FILL THE WHOLE. You have everything you need RIGHT NOW to start.
The first shift you’ll notice is this work will go from ‘this is something I *should* do’ to ‘this is something I WANT to do’
Because the moment you realize your life is set to become even FULLER of joy and pleasure, more so than ever before, you’ll realize alcohol never really gave you those things in the first place. And along the way, you’ll experience all the by-products of this awakening work.
“I rediscovered the core of who I am and what brings me life.”
“I felt feelings that were so so big. I didn’t know my heart got that big. And definitely more than once the idea in my mind was - with alcohol this would not be possible!
Big love to you!! Thank you so much for all your support in getting me to this point. I had to open up and get curious. And that curiosity is blooming so damn big right now!!!”
- Laura, Program Client
This Process Will Also Help You With…
✴︎Developing healthy and intentional ways of managing your thoughts and emotions.
✴︎Building confidence and pride, so you don't feel like you have to hide in the shadows.
✴︎Embracing new challenges and opportunities, even if they involve failing and trying again.
✴︎Tracking and evaluating your progress, so you know what's working and what needs improvement.
✴︎Assuming responsibility for your life and recognizing that all of your goals are attainable.
✴︎Experiencing more pleasure in life as a result of not drinking.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I feel an inner soundness and feeling of being solid in my responses that wasn’t there prior to working with you. True healing”
And I am so grateful to you and the program and the opportunities and shifts of perspective that have opened up for me. I appreciate knowing you are still here for me…
I feel I have solid internal footing, which is an absolute testament to the work I’ve done these last few months with you and the program. True healing. "
-Bonnie Zadeyan, Mother of Four, Entrepreneur, Yoga practitioner
“I AM FREE OF THE BURDENS OF ALCOHOL.”
“I had a voice inside me telling me every day that it was time to stop drinking and see what lies ahead for me. During our time together I discovered many reasons why my drinking had escalated. With Mary’s help I learned to deal with my emotions and habits in a very healthy way. I had many things to change but ONCE I MADE MY MIND UP AND STARTED TO TALK ABOUT IT, everything else fell into place. Don’t get me wrong I had to work hard and build a new routine to eliminate drinking. I had to learn to spend time on myself and delegate some of my responsibilities.
What a joy it is to live my life around other things. Life, love, balance, family, and exercise I could go on and on. Mary, I am forever grateful for your time, wisdom, patience, and most of all your devotion to helping me and so many others get their life back.” - Deb Program Client
“My journey to change my relationship with alcohol has restyled my entire life.”
I began the journey only knowing how to be a daily drinker. I felt that at best, I could maybe moderate.
Mary provided me with the fundamental realization that I did not have to settle. That I no longer needed to wander, but could build a more direct purposeful path to follow.
From that moment on, Mary guided me in rethinking what I naively believed was unimaginable for so many years. A life independent of alcohol is not only viable, it is a choice I now have the confidence to make every day.
To have the awareness that the social pull of a worldwide drinking culture is not welcome in my life. And, knowing that Mary is always here for me is priceless. -Paula, Program Client
“This has been the best gift to me and my family.”
Mary's work is life-changing. Before working with Mary, I was tired, depressed and uninspired in life. After Mary, my beliefs have changed. I enjoy life and am excited for each day. I truly NEVER thought I would be writing this and not having a drink. Somehow, Mary creates a path for you without "clawing" your way through each day without a drink. This has been the best gift to me and my family.
My Beliefs before Mary:
I can't NOT drink.
I love drinking while making dinner.
I won't have fun at parties without drinking.
I want to drink after work.
“Mary not only helped me wrap my head around thinking differently about alcohol, which I thought was impossible but also life in general.”
Mary stuck by me when I doubted myself, when I stumbled, and all the way through to now where I can honestly say I feel the BEST I have felt in years. Mary not only helped me wrap my head around thinking differently about alcohol, which I thought was impossible but also life in general. The pandemic escalated my workload, my stress, and my drinking. Mary helped me begin to unpack all three, and I will be forever grateful. XO - Nicole, Program Client
My Beliefs After working with Mary:
I have so much energy.
I am so calm.
I love myself and my life.
I can handle anything.
I laugh more without alcohol.
-Ami, Program Client