finding vibhuti

2018 was my year of saying yes,

to all of the things I usually say no to.

You can’t transform if you don’t change.

It’s not possible.

I am a hands on learner.

I can read books and watch videos,

but the essence for me is in the pulse of life connection.

It’s also hard for me to connect to a community virtually,

but I have. And that feels good too.

Every time I close my eyes for conscious breathing,

I realize I have all of the answers I will ever need

and also, that I know absolutely nothing at all.

I was invited to attend a sisters circle last night.

When I heard about it, I was intrigued.

I have very little experience as an adult in a group of women

on an intimate level.

It is something I am actively seeking.

But of course,

when the time came,

I could have easily stayed home.

I didn’t know what to expect really.

I may know one or two of the sisters, but not close.

But, this is my year and I have to put in the work

when the offer is so blatently presented.

I bought some dark chocolate as an offering.

Brushed my hair.

Had an early dinner with my sweetheart and off I went.

I am not a shy person,

in fact, I have no problem meeting most people.

I am however an introvert and never get lonely,

which is why staying home is always the easier option.

The details of the entire event are not what is important here.

However, I was gifted a very special sacred powder manifest from the hands of a revered Guru.

Blessed by enchanting Priestess named Amethyst.

I felt the subtle layer of my body where I hold my deepest truths, soften.

I cried.

I signed so deeply that I could see the basket of arms for the game of trust I have been longing to experience with a group of women open eternally for me.

Needless to say, it was life altering.

I didn’t know anyone.

But I knew every single one of them by heart.

If I didn’t say yes,

I would have been in my pajamas

listening to a podcast

working on my watercolors.

All great things.

But things I have done before and will have the change to again.

If you want your life to look different,

you have to step outside of your comfort zone.

You have to say yes to the things that knock on your door.

Put your coat on

and go for a walk.

It always turns out way better than you could have possibly imagined.

Next time you wish your life was different,

ask your self when was the last time you changed?