Catching your heart...
I use to be addicted to alcohol, now I am not.
I say this completely free of fear, shame or guilt.
No matter how you shake it, alcohol is a drug and is an addictive chemical. The rate at which a person becomes addicted will vary.
My journey spans 20 years.
Out of all of the content and teachings I have shared, as well as my own personal journey,
the subject of alcohol and our relationship to it gets the most feed back and “me too” conversation. For this reason, I am focusing much of my coaching and content on this for the future.
I just returned from a spiritual pilgrimage to England, and was called out for this content by one of the retreat participants when she recognized me. She said, I love your work around alcohol and want to know more.
This is a global epidemic.
My approach does not look at alcohol as evil or bad. I do not judge anyone who is not questioning or has no interest in changing their relationship with alcohol.
I suffered for many years with an internal conflict in my brain about my relationship. It was like being in a narcissistic relationship where every time I tried to break free, I was convinced by the charm and allure of the ever present flow and promise, that this time of imbibing would be different.
It is a tough subject, but my approach to helping empowered women change their lives is unique, effective and very personal.
Culturally, alcohol is king. We blame the person as the problem. Branding anyone who chooses to question their relationship with an additive substance, an “alcoholic”.
Forcing them to give up power even further to the bottle and their agency as an evolved human to choose a different path.
NO MORE. That paradigm ends here and now.
I am not an alcoholic, just as I am not a weed-aoholic or a cigarette-aholic. Both of those drugs I consumed regularly, was addicted to, and no longer am.
Addictions can be emotional, mental and physical. You do not have to have to be experiencing the DTs to be at the affect of alcohol. If an alcohol free life brings up a bit of fear or anxiety, you are emotionally addicted. If you wake up with a hangover and swear off drinking only to hit happy hour on the way home after a lengthy battle in your own head, that is a mental addiction. If you have restless sleeping if you don’t drink, or once the booze wears off in the middle of the night, this is the beginning of a physical addiction.
Why is alcohol different?
Does personality play into the rate at which one becomes addicted? Sure, just as any other environmental factor will play into another adversity one experiences. Such as health, relationships we choose, education, etc… Pre determined is not proven by DNA, and does not mean predestine.
Any environmental circumstance can become cyclical until it is broken.
Changing our relationship with alcohol, if so desired and even questioning it, gives us the power to end environmental wounds in other areas too. Ending the cycle here and now for future generations.
How is this done? We look at FOMO, not as the free of missing out on something you already know so well; a life with alcohol, YET, the FOMO on your potential as a leader, an example of what’s possible and the infinite possibility of being a fully realized human outside of the conditioned mind.
This is called the Human Liberation Model.
In this Model YOU CHOOSE how you want this life to look free of fear, shame or guilt. Free of conditioned norms, compare and despair of the falsified versions of life we see on the internet, etc…
Alcohol rewrites pathways in the brain. It changes the way we process pleasure in a real BIG way. It doesn’t matter if you bing drink once a week, or have a couple glasses of wine every night, it works the same way.
My coaching frame work does not need to vilify alcohol. I do suggest being educated about the carcinogens you are ingesting on a regular basis and the long term implications, not just physically, but socially, and mentally.
My work teaches that the way we do one thing, is the way we do everything. Once you BELIEVE and then experience an alcohol free life and how amazing it is, the spiritual void of our human experience starts to shift. You may not think you are living in spiritual deficit, but when you really examine the depths of what’s possible for life, the desire for false pleasure and the source of suffering, you will realize there is a world of experience we are not privy to through traditional western models.
There are two different ways to be alcohol free, but one creates true freedom, and the other keeps you counting the days and in a state of deprivation rather than liberation. I have done both. The later is simply based on unflinching faith and creating new beliefs.
It is a deep dive into the big questions of your life that society doesn’t ask. Marketing promises you freedom, love and liberation through a corona filled road trip down the Baja coast.
I am suggesting freedom comes from a deep understanding of what this life really means to you. What your intentions are based on your values and how you can come to know and watch your thoughts, feelings and actions with curiosity as a witness to understand just how conditioning works.
That a limiting belief is truly just a thought. Every time I say, I don’t have enough time, I know that is just a thought and I figure out a new way, because I am an Empowered Women in charge of my life.
The work goes much deeper when you are ready. Looking at the spiritual deficit in all of humanity. How the patriarchal frame work that we are raised in, is based on fear of the unknown.
I have theorized that the increase in alcohol consumption by women, has increased as our leadership role in society has also. Why? It is because the divine feminine has no role in the current paradigm, nor does the sacred masculine, for that matter. We are running a human culture completely void of the recognition of what makes us truly human and connected to the great mystery; our consciousness and LOVE.
When women rise into more and more leadership roles, it is like putting a circle into a square. Trying to fit the compassionate creativity, into a power-over format. This leaves people with overwhelm, excessive stress and a gap in quality of living with purpose on purpose. Feeling like alcohol is the answer for all it promises and never delivers, having to fit into the old boys club, and so on.. This is a thesis unto it’s self and one I plan to research at a later date. This imbalances does not effect only women of course, it is effecting all of humanity.
We are evolving at rapid rates as a human race, but our spirituality is being left behind. People are scared to talk about religion because it too, promises and does not deliver, for many. It does not support the individual in many ways. We ALL relate to this life differently, it can not have rules and restrictions. This model creates fear and lack.
Awareness, education and growth. One breath and step at a time. When we tune into first and foremost showing up for ourselves, the mellow drama of life becomes laughable. You can’t believe the things you ever complained about. You can’t believe the hours and hours you spent mindlessly drinking or thinking about your next drink. A year ago, I wouldn’t have believed this was possible, although I so desperately wanted it to be.
I was even on a spiritual path at the same exact time my addiction was growing. The difference was my intention and attention, it wasn’t defined. My connection with something bigger than my self, my breath, my body, the stars and my consciousness, was there, I just didn’t know how to fully integrate it, and I believe we receive knowledge at a pace we are able to.
I do also believe, if you feel you are ready, ask the question what’s possible and start your journey, you will find the answers. Maybe not today, tomorrow or a year from now. But they will present themselves to you. Unflinching faith and commitment to a life governed by LOVE and trusting yourself is the answer. You must be willing and open to change and to know your believes about life may all be wrong, or at the least that the path to liberation, looks different, and that’s okay.
I believe in experiencing all this human life has to offer. My life would not look as technicolor as it does had I not had the relationship I did with alcohol.
I see it all now for what it is, a hole to hide in and not get to work changing the world and living my fullest potential.
The switch for me flipped when I knew I couldn’t ask life to show up for me, if I was the one braking my own heart over and over again. I heard the call from the Goddess to come home to my truest nature, or I would forever be in fear and suffering. At the end of the day, to inspire others, my son and my family, I needed to be able to trust my self whole heatedly. To truly walk the talk. The one question I had to know I could say yes to 100% with unflinching faith was: when all else fails, can you catch your own heart?
The answer is a resounding: HELL YES!
And so it is.
I use the human liberation model as the frame work for intentional living and the end to and recognition of any habit that no longer serves the empowered women I work with. From over complaining to over drinking. Inspiration, intention and embodied living is how we make real change.
When you are ready to dive deeper, I would love to set up a time for an over the phone consultation. Email me at marywagstaffcoaching@gmail.com
